I love the snow. It's white and clean. Makes everything look bright and new and perfect. It's the exact opposite of the jumbling black chaos I call life.

All together I have had a better week than last week and I was about to boast of not crying, but alas I failed. I cried for approximately 15 minutes tonight. Wishing for things to be different, when in reality I should be thankful I haven't made my life any worse. I don't know who said doing the right thing wasn't always easy, but they sure knew what they were talking about. It's like I'm battling with myself; my spirit is fighting with my heart and my mind is trying to figure it out and settle it down. Sometimes I wish I could take feelings away all together-life might just be easier. I think what I detest about them the most is I can't control them. They pop up out of no where and I might be able to hide them for awhile, but I can't hide forever.

On a happier note I got new tires and they are so much better than my old ones. Granted, anything could be better. Work is good and I thank God for my family and a few good friends. Someday I know I'll match the snow. Granted I'll be dead and in heaven, but hey it'll be good.

I had a pretty good night tonight-I got to hang out with some friends. Some new and some old. I felt bad because I'm not feeling the best shape emotionally(Ok, so I was a wreck and cried all day after about 2pm. Apparently stress and life can do that by themselves because it's not even PMS. Today was like beat up Becky day until about 6pm.), but it can only get better right? I guess I'll just have to have hope in the lyrics.


"...Once all is lost-there's everything left to gain...."

One day at a time.