O faithful blog- (hehe)
I have a test tomorrow in A&P and I'm freaking out. It's my first test of the semester and I want to do well. It hard to study though-I've just had a lot on my mind. I hate it when I can't concentrate because something has already filled the spot in my mind. Hehe because there's only a limited number of spots in my mind. Better get your ticket now! I studied yesterday and I'm taking a break from it now. It's just a whole bunch of memorization and other crap. See I value it much by calling it crap. No, it really is important information I should know.
Anyway, I already have 2 miles in with Emily today-she should sleep well tonight. I feel horrible for her but in 3 years she'll have some yard somewhere-I hope. It's the joys of having a plan, failing at it, and then making a new one. The are losses and collateral damage. Mine wasn't that bad, I guess. All depends on who you are and what happened to you. So this new plan is work and go to school for 3 years and then be a nurse. That's all I'm planning because anything else I plan God would change for the humor of it all. Haha, I'm really laughing about all the other things I had planned that have changed. It's silly to look back when you were 10 or 17 even and think what you thought your life was going to be like. What you were and weren't going to do and how it all changed overnight. Over 2 years in my case, but I worked hard at breaking all my own rules. I wouldn't recommend it. You might end up with hangovers, tattoos, nymphomaniac roommates, bad bosses, worse jobs, huge bar tabs, maxed-out credit cards, drunk men crawling on the balcony, wars between roommates, sniveling ex-boyfriends, abusive ex-boyfriends, mental clients from your work stalking you, or something even more terrible. And the worst part about it is once you calm everything back down you realize your friends have all moved on and have better things to do. Granted, you'll have good stories, you'll still have your tattoos (which I don't count mine as bad), and you'll know who your real friends are. It's a climb to get back to good, but if you had it in you to have that much fun on the way down-you've got that much inside you to get back up. It's not like worse things could happen because so much more bad things could have happened. It's lucky to get a second chance, but then I didn't do anything super wrong. I dropped out and partied hard for a semester and a half before telling anyone. I might have been labeled as a slight alcoholic, I probably was at the time. But hey life is a learning lesson and I'm just learning. It's exciting to go back to school for something I actually want to do. And my family is pretty cool to live with again. My little brother is always out (girlfriend, night school,etc.), but he's cool when he's home. It's a nice chance to recollect myself, save money, and get an idea about what the heck is going on.
I have no clue what spawned this, but don't fall asleep reading it. Hehe. I have to go study some more. Woohoo.

I don't have much to say but I found some songs that I love the sound and can relate to...I've been listening to them for the past few days. I would invest in their CD. There are other really good songs on it as well.

Three Days Grace

"Drown"

Good morning day

Sorry I’m not there

But all my favourite friends

Vanished in the air

It’s hard to fly when you can’t even run

Once I had the world,

but now I’ve got no one

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to hold me down

I would change my direction

And save myself before I

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to push me around

I would change my direction

And save myself before I drown….drown

Good morning day

Sorry you’re not here

All those times before

We’re never this unclear

It’s hard to walk

when you can’t even crawl

Once I had this world,

but now I’ve lost it all

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to hold me down

I would change my direction

And save myself before I

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to push me around

I would change my direction

And save myself before I drown

Rolling faster than I’m breathing

Drown

Rolling faster than I’m breathing

Drown

Rolling faster than I’m breathing

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to hold me down

I would change my direction

And save myself before I

If I needed someone to control me

If I needed someone to push me around

I would change my direction

And save myself before I

(Save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown, save myself before I drown)

"Take Me Under"

Now it seems I’m fading

All my dreams are not worth saving

I’ve done my share of waiting

And I’ve still got nowhere else to go

So I wait for you to

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Seems you’re wanting me to stay

But my dreams would surely waste away

And I still have nowhere else to go

So I wait for you to

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Now it seems you’re leaving

But we’ve only just begun

And you’ve still got nowhere else to go

So I wait for you to

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

And I’ve been waiting so long

And I’ve been waiting so long

And I’ve been waiting so long

So I wait for you to

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

Push me under

Pull me farther

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

And I’ve been waiting so long

And I’ve been waiting so long

And I’ve been waiting so long

So I wait for you to

Take me all the way

Take me all the way

So as in the past few postings-I went to the ER again. (4 time to the ER, 5th time to a doctor in 2 weeks). I had a whole plethora of tests run which was tons of fun. The test guy was really nice, but he seemed wicked nervous like it was his first day. He had to take a throat culture, urine sample (I know fun), and a blood sample. Well first, he had problems finding a vein and joked around and was like, "Oh I see you have to make this difficult." I said, "Hey great intuition it's the story of my life." So the poor guy had to stick me with this thick needle 3 times and then wiggle it around. He apologized profusely and said I was a pro. I of course just sat there and watched him. It didn't hurt and incredibly the bruise is smaller than the last time I gave blood. I was feeling so crappy I didn't care what they did as long as they fix it. Funny thing was the lab is a 3 walled room and the front is open. I'm sitting in a chair facing the front during all this and these 2 little girls walk by. Their faces were horrified because here's this man poking me with a needle saying, "Oh my god I can't believe it I missed again! I'm only poking you one more time." These poor little girls are never going to go voluntarily to the testing place. Dr. Oneil comes in and is like, "Sweety we're going to make things better. You've been sick for too long." Usually he talks about how whatever you did or have relates to sex and how you shouldn't be having it. And my Mom thinks I caught something from getting my tattoos. Despite them both, it's just really bad tonsillitus that loves me. Loves me so much it takes a boat load of meds to get it to leave. Ahh at least something loves me, even if it is bacteria that's slowly killing me and making my life miserable. Oh wait that doesn't sound far from real love hehe. I'm just kidding. As you can see I'm feeling better-my sense of sarcasm and humor is back.
Maybe tomorrow I'll actually get to go somewhere. Being under house arrest sucks. I love my family, but I haven't got to see anyone else or do anything else. Granted, I haven't been eating, sleeping, or anything else for that matter-so it could be a good thing I've just been resting. But today I have to do homework. I have A&P stuff due tomorrow and I don't know some of the chemistry stuff. That's where my brilliant friend, Matt, comes in. He's visiting his parents so he might come help me re-learn the basic chemistry shtuff. Friends are great when they're true. So today I'll actually get something done and actually interact with other people besides my mom and steve. Woohoo. This is a nice start to re-integrating myself with the real world. lol. It hasn't been that long, but I love social things and not participating in them sucks and is hard for me not to do. But enough of this-I love ya all-be good-don't get sick-have fun!